Apparently Celine Dion was supposed to have...
...shattered the boundaries of reality (and modesty) as she dueted on stage with a holographic Elvis Presley during an American Idol charity special. The pair appeared to perform Elvis classic 'If I Can Dream' reportedly prompting some members of the audience to believe they were witnessing a ghost.
It's all lies I tell you. Elvis would never have duetted with Celine Dion. Why? Because he told me he would never have done that with her. How do I know? Well, Elvis has got a 'Betterware' catalogue round by me and when I bumped into him the other day I asked him and he said he doesn't rate her. But he would have done a duet with someone like Elton or Lily Allen or Ray Allen and Lord Charles and even my Aunty Betty. That old Hound Dog, Elvis, is avoiding me because I've asked for a refund on 'The Big Slipper' he delivered two weeks ago. Trust us to have an unseasonally warm April!!
Been wondering, if Elvis doesn't come back should I put the slipper on Ebay?
It's got 3 heat settings you know:-
1) Just enuff to take the chill off
2) Oooh, just like toast
3) Sh*t Babs, this is like walking over fu*king hot coals
And, since when was 'If I can Dream' considered an Elvis classic?