It has emerged that the government is growing increasingly concerned due to the sharp rise in teachers leaving their jobs, running away to the circus and being overtly happy because they're eating lard.
Since records have started to be kept in 2004 the number of teachers running away to the circus and eating lard has risen steadily:
Statistics below reveal the trend of runaways:
2004 – 7
2005 – 15
2006 – Not yet known.
There is an over 100% take up of teachers running away to circuses or circi whichever way you look at it. If this keeps up then there’ll be over 200% growth in teachers running away to the circus in a few years which is almost as ridiculous as the percentage growths in pass rates of GCSE’s and A Levels which are expected to be between 110% - 120% pass rates by next year.

The Ex-Great Gerald Stupendo – Juggler Extraordanaire has just taken up his designation in his newly created post as Special Circus Educational Adviser. “The government has been growing greatly concerned that it is again leaking more and more teachers to other professions so they've created this well paid, brand new post just for me. It’s my mission to see how the teaching and circus fraternities can find a workable solution to this problem. In many ways the circus mirrors nearly every educational establishment; where the school is viewed as the ‘Big Top' and teachers’ roles are not dissimilar to that of a circus performer therefore making it most appealing to teachers.”

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
BIG TOPS CAN IN FEW WAYS BE COMPARED IN DESIGN AND STRUCTURE TO THAT OF A HIGH SCHOOL

Other simple comparisons can best explain the School - Circus phenomenon:

Lion and/or Other Big Cat Tamers – Teachers often find that they spend their days trying to tame wild animals with or without sharp teeth.


Taming Lions can be likened to taming unruly classes where the sharp teeth and claws are replaced by flick knives.

Trapeeze Artists – Here a mixture of teachers from all genures consistently put their lives on the line under the most difficult and dangerous of circumstances to entertain the masses who stream in through their doors time and again often relying on each others trust, guile and ingenuity to get through the day.
Curiosities (such as bearded ladies, strongmen, hermaphrodites) – Female PE teachers, male PE Teachers, Boy George Impersonators respectively.


Boy George Curiosities they come and go they come and go and can be found in all walks of life not just in schools and circuses!

Showmen – NQT’S and male PE Teachers

Clowns – Senior staff and male PE teachers

Clowns - Ah, but they're really Senior Staff and male PE teachers in disguise?

Nomadic, Itinerant lifestyle – 6 weeks away during the summer in France in caravan.

Incidentally there are no incidences of circus performers running away to become teachers. Although, there are many incidences of Russian and Eastern European circus performers running away from their circuses and getting lost in our system before applying for political asylum and taking advantage of our lenient system of benefit handouts.

Next week our reporter looks at the transient, nepotistic, brain-drain of a famous person’s relatives from their mundane job into the BBC. Although we are not in any way suggesting that it's a bit like a prominent councillor’s son, daughter, wife, niece, nephew, fancy woman aquiring a teaching job through the back-door even though the advert clearly stated that the authority was an equal opportunities employer and that you were meant to disclose if you were in any way related to council or to anyone on the interview panel.
We all know this never happens in real life so we never mention it in public do we!

But we do mention these:

www.teachingstuffandallthat.blog.co.uk
www.brandnewwithtags.blog.co.uk
www.perchingandallthat.blog.co.uk